Teenage daughter has had sexual contact

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Posted by Pat Riley on February 08, 2004 at 02:37:39:

My 15 year old daughter today informed me that her boyfriend "fingered" her and that she was a willing participant. Also that he has asked for oral sex. She had at one point told him she might be ready for that but has since told him she was not.

She told me these things because she thought I would find out anyway through checking into her computer activities. Through reading an email to one of her friends, I also found out that she and 3 of her friends left one of their houses late night during a sleepover to attend a party. She ended up getting a ride home from a drunk driver after only briefly staying at the party. She reflected on the evening as both frightening and exciting. She wants to do it again. She apparently did not drink or have any sexual contact that night. She is a smart girl, still doing well in school, ....well, there is a lot to this story but the bottom line for me is this.....

These things are just now happening. I need suggestions on how to deal with it. Her and I have a very good relationship, however she lives with her grandparents. I do not believe at this point that I should tell her grandparents yet about what I have learned because I fear that they will deal with it in a manner that will cause her to become angry, resentful, and rebel. There is an agreement with her grandparents and myself, that in the event my daughter starts to get into trouble, she will come and live with me.

She is at a crossroads - a major one. I feel that how I deal with this is absolutely critical. There is not yet any REAL trouble....but we are on the brink of REAL trouble and I am now sleepless.

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