Re: One ADD son, 12, and one AS son, 9, marriage in trouble

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Posted by Mary Jane on December 10, 2003 at 03:07:49:

In Reply to: Re: One ADD son, 12, and one AS son, 9, marriage in trouble posted by judy lavin on December 09, 2003 at 19:37:39:

Wow, thankyou for getting back to me. I am on Wellbutrin and Prozac and am in weekly therapy. My ADD son is on adderall and that helps with focus and school. Both sons have been evaluated by a psychiatrist and have seen psycholgists for years. We are going to family therapy, and it helps but tonight I came home from a movie to fist-fighting sons and an overwhelmed babysitter. We have a history of repelling babysitters and we lose friends because we are a hard group to be around. My psychologist says that I am isolated and I would agree.

Our families are not involved, they live far away and have busy lives. We have asked for help so we can get away and grandparents are not willing - although they do for other grandchildren. It really hurts.

My husband is so angry and really does not want to come home. He yells at the boys and at me and is pretty overwhelmed when he tries to relieve me. He probably has ADD and he has a hard time coping since the boys cannot follow directions without a lot of follow through and he has a hard time following through. We have not felt like having sex for months, we are both overwhelmed.

I know that these situations lead to divorce, we have seen it happen over and over. I need him to be able to do this, I cannot care for these children and hold a job. I need support from him to maintain my sanity, but he says that he does not know what to do to give me emotional support. I tell him that I need him to talk with me, but the issues I need help with are over his head.

How do I tell our therapist that we seriously need help and get her to understand? I will pick up your book tomorrow and read it immediately. I am just so sad that this is happening to our family. I want to make it better, but I am not effective. I have an MBA, but I cannot manage my family. Pretty ironic.

Where were the chapters on this stuff in "What to Expect When you're Expecting"?

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